The Art of Awkward Affection
I admit it was me who shouted, “Looking good, hot stuff!” at Mr. Richmond this morning, but I didn’t mean it like that.Yes, Mrs. HR Lady, I know how it looks. Believe me, I am totally anti-catcalling, but that’s not what that was. Honest. I was paying him a compliment!That’s kind of what I do: I’m a proud, small-town Floridian, and Manhattan is craving some Florida sunshine—nothing like a sincere compliment to turn those New York frowns upside down!Grayson Richmond needs some positivity.Have you seen how grumpy he is?Sure, he’s the big boss, but I’m always at his house, so we’re kind of, well, not friends, that would be awkward, but like…Okay, so no, I didn’t actually meet him until today. I only go to his penthouse to drop off the dry cleaning…Wait, I’m sorry, he felt threatened? Are you kidding me?I’m dead broke, my fashion style is Disney adult, and I’m five feet tall when I stand up straight. I’m twenty-three and look like I’m twelve. People constantly stop me and ask me if I lost my mommy.Grayson is six foot five, one of the richest men in Manhattan, and literally owns multiple city blocks and two of the tallest skyscrapers in the city, which is, by the way, totally a phallic calling card.Yes, I understand that Mr. Richmond takes these matters very seriously.No, I’m not making a mockery of this company or of him.Yes, I will return to my duties as Mr. Richmond’s lowly assistant of the assistant to the secretary.No, I’m not being snarky. Believe me, my credit card debt and I are very happy to have this job.Also, I hate to ask, but Mr. Richmond didn’t say anything about the notes of positive affirmation in his underwear drawer, did he?It wasn’t anything awkward like “I want to bang you.” Because, you know, I don’t want to. Not at all.Is he hot? Washboard abs, that jaw, those hands—phff yeah! After all, my momma didn’t raise no liar. But I’m not going to like, tell him, because that would be weird.Wait, what? He wants to see me in his office? Now? Like now now?Gulp!
This is an enemies-to-lovers, grumpy New York billionaire boss versus Florida-sunshine assistant, stand-alone romantic comedy! If you like cupcakes, sparkly stickers, and hot guys in suits whose rigid routines get a hilarious shake-up, this book is for you! Happily ever after guaranteed!
I picked up the mug of black tea and tried not to stare at the buttons that were threatening to pop on Lexi’s blouse and let her t*** spill out.
I took a large swallow of the scalding-hot water.
“You two are harshing his snarly, self-important, condescending vibes. It’s the gestapo up in here. A man can’t even cuss out his own assistant in peace. Shoo!” Lexi waved away the two older women. “Can’t you see you’re smothering him? Some people,” she said to me, cupping a hand to the side of her mouth.
“Can we please fire her?” Anthym shrieked.
“But then who will sort our dear leader’s underwear?” Lexi asked magnanimously.
“You’re not supposed to be touching his underwear.” The HR director was appalled.
“I was folding them Marie Kondo style, to bring joy to Mr. Richmond’s life,” Lexi said primly.
“Oh my god, you left the note,” I said before I could stop myself.
The office was dead quiet.
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